We know Esther as a divine instrument of rescue, strategically placed by God in the strongest empire of the world, to save her people from annihilation.
But what was it like? What was it like for Esther?
At that time there was a Jewish man in the fortress of Susa whose name was Mordecai son of Jair ... This man had a very beautiful and lovely young cousin, Hadassah, who was also called Esther. When her father and mother died, Mordecai adopted her into his family and raised her as his own daughter.
As a result of the king’s decree, Esther, along with many other young women, was brought to the king’s harem at the fortress of Susa and placed in Hegai’s care. Hegai was very impressed with Esther and treated her kindly. ... and he moved her and her maids into the best place in the harem.
Esther had not told anyone of her nationality and family background, because Mordecai had directed her not to do so. Every day Mordecai would take a walk near the courtyard of the harem to find out about Esther and what was happening to her.
When it was Esther’s turn to go to the king, she accepted the advice of Hegai, the eunuch in charge of the harem. She asked for nothing except what he suggested, and she was admired by everyone who saw her.
Esther was taken to King Xerxes at the royal palace in early winter of the seventh year of his reign. And the king loved Esther more than any of the other young women. He was so delighted with her that he set the royal crown on her head and declared her queen instead of Vashti. (Esther 2:5, 7, 8-11, 15-17, NLT)
Esther went through a lot before she ever became Queen.
Her parents died.
She was stripped from her cousin and father figure, Mordecai.
She was forced into a harem.
She spent a year waiting for the day that she would lose her virginity, possibly for nothing.
She watched many others go before her only to be tossed aside into another harem, likely never to be called on again.
Did she have favor? Yes. Was God in it? Yes.
But what about her heart? Her hopes? Her dreams?
What if she dreamed about a family? Unless a miracle happened and the king chose her out of all the virgins, that wouldn't be an option.
What about love? Even if the king married her, there was no guarantee he would love her, and he certainly wasn't going to be faithful to her.
What about freedom? As it was, she likely didn’t have much freedom in her society, but even the little she had was taken from her. She had no say in the decision of her future.
As we know, Esther's outcome of her night with the king was more favorable than we could imagine. She went from an unknown Jewish girl to Queen of the Persian Empire. God established her in a high position to influence thousands upon thousands of lives.
But before she was placed in her position, she walked through a lot of pain. She dealt with disappointment and heartache.
We don't typically consider the hurts of Esther. My heart breaks for her as I imagine what she faced.
Was she completely terrified? I would be.
On the night she processed to the king's chambers, about to give away her precious purity to a man she didn’t know, did her heart pound so hard it felt like it would burst? Mine would.
Did her emotions rage? Was she furious at the injustice of her situation? Was she feeling lonely and forgotten? Was her heart despairing?
Or was there a glimmer of hope, still flickering within her?
We can’t know what this beautiful, courageous woman was feeling, but we can see her actions. She conducted herself through this season of difficulty and disappointment with humility and gentle obedience.
She submitted herself to her guardian, Mordecai. She submitted herself to Hegai, the eunuch in charge of her harem. She submitted herself to the mighty King of Persia. And finally, she submitted herself to God and His will for her life (we know this from later in her story).
The behavior of Esther tells me it was more than her beauty that won her the King. It was also her character.
When King Xerxes deliberated on what to do with his previous Queen, Vashti, his advisors proposed that he select another young woman who was more worthy than she(see Esther 1:19). Not more beautiful, more worthy. Esther proved herself to be that worthy woman, and God opened the eyes of Hegai, countless others, and the King to see it.
Esther was the right person, in the right place, at the right time (though I doubt it seemed that way to her).
When you walk through hard places and times, it is for a purpose. God doesn’t cause calamity or disaster on your life, but He does turn even the worst situations for your good. Whatever season you’re in, know that God is training and preparing you for your future destiny.
If you’re experiencing hurt, heartache, or disappointment, allow such pains to turn you toward your Father. As you choose humble obedience and beautiful submission to Him, He is molding you into the worthy one the world has been searching for.
Don’t get discouraged. There is more for you. There is a greater on its way. There is a best coming. Let your life be the loom on which your character is weaved together. Let the fires you go through be the furnace that refines you. And let the joy you experience fill you with hope, gratitude, and humility.
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