I was born to two loving Christian parents, who raised me to love the Lord and His Word. I remember as a three-year-old sitting on my parents’ huge bed (at least, it seemed huge to me then), listening to my Mom explain why God sent His only Son into the world.

 

I readily accepted her invitation to ask Jesus ‘into my heart.’ Immediately, my soul was flooded with joy, and for the rest of the day I kept telling everyone I came across, “I have Jesus in my heart! I have Jesus in my heart!”

 

As I grew up and my body changed and my mind became stronger, my love for my God and His Word grew too. Bible studies, small groups, church, youth groups . . . these were all familiar and normal to me.

 

I knew all the ‘Christian’ behaviors to emulate, and followed them to a T, not only because I was told to but also because I saw my parents truly walk in faith every day. Daily quiet time, regular fasting, times of prayer – all of these I witnessed firsthand. So I too read my Bible, prayed, occasionally fasted, and wrote in a journal.

 

But my life wasn’t perfect, and though I was supposedly ‘the good girl,’ I didn’t have it all together. When I was 5, I was molested by a peer. Though this event was shoved far back into the deepest recesses of my memory (so much so that I didn’t even realize the memory was there until 15 years later), it dramatically affected my life. The moment I was molested, shame and insecurity swept into my heart and rooted themselves as strongholds, shaping and guiding my choices and attitudes.

 

When I was 12, I was exposed to pornography, and this began a two-year addiction in darkness. I tried to beat it on my own and couldn’t. After a year of unsuccessfully attempting to fight my addiction by myself, I asked a friend to keep me accountable, and she did.

 

But my addiction spiraled from bad to worse (even with accountability), and so my friend told her mom what was going on. Her mom called my Mom, who then addressed me.

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For two years, I had wanted to tell my parents, but shame kept me silent. When my Mom asked me if what my friend said was true, I finally was able to admit the sin I had been struggling with (and drowning in).

 

Through tears and shame, I recounted all that had happened, and my Mom led me in a prayer to Jesus, asking Him to forgive me and free me. The Truth set me free that day (John 8:32, John 14:6), and my addiction was broken.

 

That was over 8 years ago. And though the enemy has tried to derail me by bringing up the sins of my past, I stand here today a free woman, redeemed from her sin, restored to her purity and even her innocence. I never dreamed that I could be considered faithful or pure; I thought I was wasted. But Jesus is so much greater. He has transformed me into a pure, faithful daughter. How amazing He is!

 

Four years after my sexual addiction clamored to the ground at the Name of Jesus, I walked through a deep depression for 6 months. 180 days of straining to hear from God, of not wanting to live anymore, of wanting to end it all so the pain would go away . . . it felt like an eternity. I didn’t know if I’d make it out.

 

But Jesus. He brought me out of my depression, healing my heart, restoring my joy, and bringing me into a deeper intimacy with Him than before. Today, depression is not a threat. Suicide is not a threat. Apathy is not a threat. They are slain enemies, destroyed by the love of my Father.

 

I’ve walked through addiction, depression, grief, fear, rejection, brokenness, disappointment . . . and it’s all because of Jesus. He has brought me through every pain, every difficulty, every season. He truly is my everything.

 

A year after graduating high school and 7 months after coming out of depression, I moved 1,300 miles away from my family to attend Christ For The Nations Institute. Three years of learning, growing, having my heart torn apart and put back together as Jesus healed me from wounds and hurts I didn’t even know I had, and encountering God my Father in new ways.

 

Three years of stretching, of falling in love with the nations, of being challenged by different teachers with different doctrines. Three years of ministry training, of friends that come and go with the seasons, of being pushed out of my comfort zone. Three years of developing strengths and skills. Three years of finding out who Jesus made me to be.

 

So much took place in those three years. In some ways, it feels like the blink of an eye; in others, it feels like a lifetime ago that I first stepped foot on campus.

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A few weeks after graduation, I moved to North Carolina with my spiritual family (the Banks) to serve a church there. We loved, and gave, and grew, and walked through much there for 14 months. Then God called us to move back to Texas to minister to family. 

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So here I am, in Round Rock, Texas, learning to focus on the season I'm in and the One Who has brought me this far. I'm grateful for the ways Jesus has plugged me in to a church and given me opportunities to serve. I'm grateful for family nearby. I'm grateful for the waiting and preparing my Father is leading me through.

 

I don’t know what my future will look like, but I am confident it will be good, because I follow a King who calls me into His very best.

 

I’m so thankful for all the Lord has taken me through, and where He has placed me now. I'm still figuring out what this season of my life is. But as I do that, I am hopeful for the future, and I’m finding Jesus in my everyday life.

 

That’s a bit of my story. What’s yours?