“One of his disciples, the one Jesus loved, was reclining close beside Jesus.Simon Peter motioned to him to find out who it was he was talking about. So he leaned back against Jesus and asked him, ‘Lord, who is it?’” (John 13:23-25, CSB)
“Standing near the cross were Jesus’ mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary (the wife of Clopas), and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother standing there beside the disciple he loved, he said to her, ‘Dear woman, here is your son.’And he said to this disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’ And from then on this disciple took her into his home.”(John 19:25-27, NLT)
For millennia, John has been a model of intimacy with Jesus. Throughout his account of the Gospel, John speaks of himself as ‘the disciple Jesus loved’ (we know this from John 21:20-24). What an identity! This man that Jesus loved lived out the title well.
He’s the one who lay against Jesus at the last supper, and the only one of the 12 disciples who stayed by Jesus’ side through His trial, whipping, and crucifixion. It was to John that Jesus entrusted His mother.
Why was John so close to Christ? Because he had a revelation of Jesus’ love for him.
John knew deeply how Jesus loved him; and so he deeply loved Jesus. He stuck with Jesus through thick and thin. When others ran away in fear, he clung close to Love Himself.
If you look at John’s epistles, you’ll find the theme of love scattered throughout them (especially in 1 John 3-4). He calls us to love one another, for love comes from God (1 John 4:7). Not only so, but God is love (1 John 4:16). John goes on to say that perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18).
The reason John could write so beautifully about love is that he encountered Him. Such words weren’t mere ideas in John’s head; they were realities that flowed from his heart.
John wasn’t some hippie who only dreamed of a fantastical ‘love.’ He spoke of real love, true love.
This love is fierce and tender at the same time. It’s strong, and kind, and sweet, and powerful. It sacrifices, gives freely, and calls for a response. This love is a person; His Name is Jesus.
John drew near to the fiery furnace of Love. He bravely entered it, and yes, much burned away; but on the other side was a depth and intimacy unprecedented.
I wonder if the other disciples were jealous of John’s closeness with Jesus. Did they mock or scorn him when he laid his head on Jesus’ chest? Did his intimate bond with their Savior make them uncomfortable? Did it make them smile?
John didn’t care what others thought. He went after Jesus with his entire heart. The reason John was able to be so close to Love the person is that he wasn’t afraid of being close. He didn’t allow intimacy’s implications deter him.
Think about it. People could misread John’s nearness to Jesus. They could have accused him of outlandish behavior. Likely, John’s love affair with our Lord was misunderstood.
If that were the case, he didn’t care. He risked his life by not leaving Jesus when He was arrested and murdered. By associating with Jesus, identifying himself as one of His disciples, John was sticking out his own neck.
There’s a reason Peter denied being a part of Jesus’ party – it was dangerous. John disregarded the danger, because he loved Jesus more than life itself.
We often look at love as something soft; but in reality, love is strong. It’s bold. It’s courageous. It’s inspiring.
John’s life of love is nothing to laugh about. For the sake of Love, he left everything behind. For the sake of Love, he followed the Lord without knowing where he’d end up. For the sake of Love, he risked it all.
He was boiled in oil. He was exiled to a lonely island. He was persecuted and rejected. He literally gave everything to Love.
Today, he is known as the disciple Jesus loved. The Beloved. The endeared. I imagine that in heaven, John is beside Jesus now, resting his head on His shoulder.
Yes, John risked much for Love. He sacrificed a lot – his whole life. In the end, though, he gained much too. He plunged into great depths of love, and all the world can see it.
How deep do you want to go into God’s love? How much are you willing to risk?
If you draw near to Love’s fire, there are places in you that will burn; but you’ll find that those things didn’t really matter, and instead you will have a more fervent and powerful intimacy with the One Who loves you most.
I don’t know about you, but I want an intimacy with Jesus so radical and outlandish that the world is shaken by it. If this is what you want too, ask your Father for more. More revelation of His love. More depths of closeness. More awareness of His presence. He delights in such requests.
Don’t be afraid of drawing near to Love. There is no room for fear in His embrace. There, you are safe and secure. There, you’ll find unspeakable joys and beautiful treasures. There, you’ll learn how much you’re worth.
As you enter deeper into Love Himself, you’ll grow more like Him. The fire of love will always be worth it on the other side.
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